I haven't been on this site for some time. I started as a hurt, frightened and desperate husband of nearly 21 years with a small child to worry about. Though I did love my wife, I was more concerned about our child and what would happen when we split up over her infidelity and lies. I acted irrationally and bled very openly from my wounds for all to see. A nasty divorce ensued and I had to find another place to live and still provide for my son. Lawyers kept us at each others throats and the fees climbed exponentially. Then it was over. The smoke cleared and my son was still ok. I tried to move on and date, even fell in love with a very broken woman for three years. That ended 5 years ago because she started seeing her boss. I have focused on my son and on me. Now he is graduating high school and has been accepted to college. He has thrived! I am doing okay. Well, with the pandemic, I'm doing as well as most. My point is that tempering the storm instead of fueling it will make it stop sooner. Do not expect justice. It's not criminal court and they don't care. They will do what they deem as fair economically and regarding custody based on formulas and past cases. You might not think it fair but remember, they don't care. My problem has been not listening to my gut feelings about someone and glossing over the warning alarms as they go off because I assume people are inherently good and that no one is perfect. Listen to your gut instinct. Heed the warnings. Do not settle for someone who doesn't deserve you. Can people change? Yep, all the time. So do you and so have I. Why act surprised by change? Never assume that the person you're with feels exactly like you feel. Never poo poo problems. Never get into a heated argument because you lose. Be unnervingly rational and state how you feel about things. Never dumb down or belittle the one you claim to love. And if you're only with that person because they push all the right buttons in bed, you are shallow and deservedly will have pain. Good relationships are deep and marriage is a combining of two different lives trying to live as one, with individuality remaining intact. Sound complicated? It is. But it can be a worthwhile experience. With that I bid you happiness and hope for a better tomorrow. Nothing is impossible and the realization that it takes two to make it work must always be acknowledged. Peace!