I am in a situation kinda similar. Just over a year ago, I found out my wife was messaging her ex-boyfriend on SnapChat. She admitted to it; however, didn't really tell me the 100% truth. Actually, left a few things out of their conversation, regarding her physically, working out, her body and he asked her for a picture. She has said didn't send any so said. Maybe its my jealous or worried conscious, however, during this period she was taking a few selfies in the mirror, not nude, but in shorts, undies and she sent a few to me. After confronting her, realized she maybe not be 100% over him, she is searching him on Facebook and Instagram and looking at his posts. I don't know if she is messaging him any more but it bothers me. During out conversation I did tell he it bothered me and said he's not friend on any social media anymore. Well, let's fast forward about a year later and she is again on Instagram. In the mix with all this our sex life just isn't what it used to be anymore. Before marriage she called herself a little perv for me, we had sex several times a week, got married and nothing changed. Just in the last few years, it has change drastically. Sometimes, there is no sex for months, and it is basically where I got to do what she asks, she doesn't touch me anymore (down there) and no oral at all. But she asks me for oral. When I bring up the subject, she either ignores or has some BS excuse. I love her and am just so confused what to do. Don't want a divorce, have too much to lose, it would be starting over again and just a very difficult thing to go through - a divorce. I honestly don't think she is cheating, this ex-boyfriend lives like 4.5 hours away. Not sure how they would meet and most of the time we are at home or doing things together or she's at work. He is also married but for sure I think she still has something for him. What do I do? Is that considered cheating, messaging behind someone's back? Is it wrong or just something we need to discuss what is considered crossing the line?