I am so, so deeply sorry for what you are going through. What has happened to you is one of the most unimaginable acts of betrayal and it surely hurts like heck right now. Nobody can truly understand what something like this does to a person unless you have experienced yourself. These are going to be one of the darkest days you will ever experience and I know this is the last thing you want to hear now but you will get through it, and you will come out stronger. 1. Take care of yourself: he doesn't deserve your suffering so maybe not right now but later on, show the SOB what he had and he can't have any more because he is dead. Get a makeover, go shopping. Make yourself look as good as ever. 2. Exercise: when I felt the pain and hurt coming, I would get a good sweat going. Kickboxing is great for anger. 3. Music:make yourself a "Women's Empowerment" play list to remind you you will get thru it. Music along the lines of "Stronger" by Kelly Clarkston. 4. Find projects geared towards the next chapter of your life: renovate the bedroom or move to another room, if you can. Buy yourself a new bed,new bedding, new lamps. Make that new room your own sanctuary. 5. Therapy and Meditation: yep, you are going to need somebody to talk to at least once a week, preferable a woman. 6. Do not feel an ounce of guilt for what you are feeling now and will feel in the future. Your husband did a very bad thing and his memory will be tainted forever. You have the right to be angry and hurt. Do not let his family tell you "he was a good man " and make you feel guilty about your anger because he wasn't as good people do not shitty stuff like that. Continue yelling and screaming at him. 6. A pet, if you can: taking care of my dog kept me distracted and got me out walking.
Hang in there, Gina. It has been almost 18 months since that fateful day for me, and the pain is almost gone but the anger is still there and will probably be there forever, though but not at the same degree. (It is more of anger at myself for having wasted my time with my dead sperm-donor). I truly do not know how I survived it but we women are strong and we do survive. Find your inner goddess, your inner strength, your inner self-worth, something nobody no matter what will ever take away from you because at the end of the day, he cheated on you, with sorry to say, garbage, like mine did so that said more about him than about your as this kind of cheating is not about you but about how low his self-esteem was and how, deep inside, he knew he did not deserved anything better than what those garbage women offered them. They feel like garbage about themselves so they gravitate towards worse garbage so they can feel better about themselves. I know it is hard now but Chin Up, girl. Trust your inner strength and look forward to the next chapter of your life.