I had to confess, I loved you so much, and you were my hero. Wherever you were, that was home to me. I loved you so much, I’d die for you, and you had no idea. Whenever you took some much time to come back home from work, I would get nervous thinking that may be something bad had happened to you… Stupid me, we had problems, but every couple has them, don’t they? I was always thinking on ways to save our relationship.
You know, I wrote you a letter, one that said how much I loved you, and how I wanted in my heart to work on our problems, I even cleaned around the house very well so you could feel comfortable, I cooked for you... Then you came home and you said to me “I don’t want to come home because you are here.” It ended up in the garbage along with that flower. No more flowers or letters since that day…ever... just too painful.
One day I was so hurt I could handle it no more I went to church to pray God for guidance so I could make you and our children happy. I loved you so much! I had no idea! These many problems made me realized how much I cared about you, but we were growing distant, I would say something and you would understand something else, I hated it! I was incapable to make myself clear when talking to you. If I could just say something that would let you know how much I loved you! but It’s difficult when the most heart wrenching words are thrown at you... That’s probably why I ignored it when things started going straight downhill. Why you had to be so harsh when you were with me? Why you spend more and more time staying away from me? Why you criticize me more and more for just about any reason? I worked on myself to look good for you.
Stupid me, I loved you so much you had no idea! Suddenly, I hit the brick wall of reality…a direct sharp stab in the heart…And life changed... What couldn’t I stop this pain?!!! It was killing me inside! I couldn’t think straight, I didn’t want to love you... But I did, and all this love turned against me.
Something was missing from my life. I felt an infinite pain, and unbearable heartache. It wouldn’t leave me alone; I would give it all if it would just leave me alone. I’ve cried more than I ever thought possible. I felt as if this pain has transcended the limits of this life. Please God! Why?...Tell me why? I had enough! I couldn’t stand the pain in my soul... It was like a shadow, It followed me everywhere, in my dreams and even the songs I used to sing, Can’t stand the radio, can’t stand tv, everything remains me of this betrayal. What about our vows, our kids, our dreams?... It was so dark in there, what did I do to deserve that agony?...I was not living; I was dying with every memory. I loved you so much, you had no idea, I’d die… because of you. I’m no longer that person you married. I have finally accepted it…That one person… is gone.